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  • Essay / Gossip and communication between men and women

    Many people have a misunderstanding of what gossip is. They think this is when you talk bad about someone who isn't in the conversation. Gossip has many definitions and again, it all depends on how you want to interpret it. According to Tannen, you don't necessarily have to oppose gossip, but you can also talk about it. This can range from secrets to rumors, among others. Besides, you can even chat with your friends and keep them updated about what's happening in your personal life. It also helps build relationships and trust with other people. Deborah Tannen focuses on this topic in chapter 4 of her book, on the fact that gossip mainly happens between women and that men don't like to gossip. She then explains that men don't like to gossip, they just like to talk about current affairs and solve their problems. Men like to protect their status and on the contrary, women like to share with their friends intimate things that are happening in detail. Furthermore, she also clarifies that it is women who gossip and men who attempt to carry on small talk that serves a greater purpose. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on “Why Violent Video Games Should Not Be Banned”? Get an original essay During the reading, Tannen explains that women are the ones who are the most loving/concerned in most situations. In one example she gave, it was when a couple had broken up and the woman was the most affected and shied away from the issue while the men went out with her friends and quickly left. This is where the woman gets in touch with her friends and starts gossiping about the situation paying close attention and getting together to help the only friend get over the breakup. In this case, it shows that men value their independence and women value the intimacy of their relationship. When women want something fixed, they want to talk about it and have a basic understanding. The woman expresses understanding and will draw similarities and matching experiences to initiate conversation. For example, in the paragraph in the chapter titled "Correspondence Troubles", Eleanor explains to Patsy that she has fallen in love with a married man and Patsy acknowledges her situation, makes sure she knows she understands and then continues to share her experience and finally brings the conversation back to Eleanor and apologizes for sharing her experience, confirming the similarity of experiences and encouraging Patsy to share more. Women will draw similarities and matching experiences to start the conversation. Cross-cultural language between men and women and the way each person expresses themselves differently about the same situation can cause conflict between them. Women often complain that when sharing things with men, they often don't listen because they don't pay close attention to details, don't make eye contact and their body language says it all. But just as women expect a reaction from a man through his body language, that doesn't mean he isn't listening. Men have different ways of approaching situations when it comes to gossip and won't really show emotion, but as stated previously, men don't show emotion because they are convinced that it is a characteristic of women. I agree with this statement because when I share things with my friends, I want them to look at me when I'm speaking to know that they are paying attention. When their attention is..