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Essay / Relationships between friends in Drowning
Sexuality matters. It doesn't matter according to theoretical, moral, logical, common-sense definitions of meaning, but it does matter. For those who do not identify as heterosexual, and sometimes even for those who do, self-liberation is an ideal that many people would hold simply out of reach for themselves. No matter how comfortable an individual may feel with their sexuality, there always have been and always will be those who view it with ignorance and reprehensible contempt, who do not hide it, who attempt to minimize, to demean and dehumanize a person because of their sexuality. This is what happens in the short story Drown by Junot Díaz. A story of two friends and a relationship gone awry because of sexuality, Drown takes a particularly melancholy tone with its sense of futility, loss and lack of understanding. In his story, Díaz advances the idea that sexuality actually makes a difference, even in the face of supreme love, and that pretending that it doesn't matter is itself a form of ignorance. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on “Why Violent Video Games Should Not Be Banned”? Get the original essay Throughout Drown, Díaz strives to establish that even the strongest, most beloved relationships can become fickle. Although love itself may be unconditional, its manifestation and the means of sharing it with others are certainly not. Díaz's character, Yunior, loves his best friend Beto very much, but he nonetheless betrays that friendship and everything it means when Beto comes out as gay. After Yunior and Beto's first sexual encounter, Yunior says that "[Beto] was [his] best friend and at the time that meant [him] more than anything", and that is why he is going to see him again (Díaz 104). What Yunior makes clear is that something much more sinister ultimately matters most to him, more to him than Beto, as he ends up throwing away their friendship because he can't accept Beto's homosexuality. Yunior's abandonment of Beto, however reluctant, is ingrained in him and is only a natural reaction to a revelation such as the one Beto delivers; Raised in a culture where gay men are called "fags" and "patos," where it's acceptable to drive to a gay bar and point a toy gun at someone just to see their reaction, Yunior is not trained to recognize or understand homosexuality is completely acceptable. Therefore, Yunior does not challenge his culture and environment. He says that when talking to his mother about why he and Beto are no longer friends, he "tried to explain, as if he were wise, that everything changes, but she thinks that kind of saying doesn't work." exists only so that [he] can prove it. false” (Díaz 95). Yunior proves his mother right when he chooses to believe what he has been taught and told and excludes Beto from his life, engaging in the cyclical perpetuation of homosexuality as a matter of great importance. Yunior's abandonment of his friend isn't just about Beto's sexuality. , but that of Yunior too. Díaz implies in Drown that before his first meeting with Beto, Yunior had no sexual experience. He says that when Beto reaches into his shorts (with a dry hand, indicating that Beto is not nervous, and therefore probably familiar with what he is doing), he cums immediately. The love that exists between Yunior and Beto is far from apparent when they first meet. There is no emotion, just carnal physicality. Then he says he is “terrified that he will end up abnormal, a fucking pato” (Díaz 104). Yunior doesn't know who he is, but he knows, or at least thinks he knows, that homosexuality is notallowed, and he is afraid. Yunior's fear about the implications of sexuality is far from unfounded. As Allan G. Johnson says in his book Privilege, Power, and Difference, “Of all human needs, few are as powerful as the need to be seen, included, and accepted by others.” This is why being rejected or banned is one of the worst painful punishments to endure, a social death. It is therefore not surprising that inclusion and acceptance are key aspects of privilege” (Johnson 55). Yunior knows all this, and it is the source of his declared terror. Whether gay, straight, or even bisexual, Yunior does not want such punishment for himself and so he sees that his only recourse is to impose it on Beto. He doesn't even take the time to truly analyze his own thoughts and feelings, what he believes to be right and wrong. He acts only in self-defense, illustrating the tragic truth that sexuality is not without consequences. Díaz, while establishing the unfortunate but undeniable relevance of sexuality, also comments in Drown on the Line that friendship works in terms of intimacy. In his book The Transformation of Sexuality: Gender and Identity in Contemporary Youth Culture, Thomas Johansson says that “male camaraderie can be discussed and analyzed in terms of homosociality. This form of sociality constitutes a mixture of a desire for intimacy...and a need to maintain fixed boundaries from the surrounding world...this apparently strong male camaraderie has its origins in both a desire and a fear of intimacy, and is characterized by... considerable homophobia. Hugs, kisses, and other intimate behaviors are surrounded by rigorous rules and standards” (Johansson 28). Johansson states that male interaction often consists of very rigidly defined predetermined parameters composed of conflicting desires. This is certainly the case for Yunior and Beto. Even before any sexual acts take place between them, there is an explicitly sexual element to their relationship. Watching porn together, even if it is heterosexual porn, has extremely homosexual connotations that neither Yunior nor Beto recognize, or even seem to recognize, as existing. However, this is acceptable in Yunior's eyes, as long as no definitive steps are taken to make their interactions explicitly homosexual. The line is thin, between friendship and something more, between heterosexuality and homosociality and homosexuality, between what is acceptable and what is not, but as soon as it is crossed, there is no way back. There is no analysis in Drown of morality, of what Yunior or Beto should or should not have done, what choices they should or should not have made, who they should or should not have been. In his book What's Wrong with Homosexuality? John Corvino says that “morality is about how [people] treat each other…it is about the ideals we hold for ourselves and each other. It's about the type of society that [people] want to be: what they will adopt, what they will tolerate and what they will prohibit" (Corvino 6). While the marks of morality, such as explains Corvino, are very prevalent in Drown, there is no real discussion about it Drown is simply the telling of a story, told without remorse or sorrow, or at least not enough to be truly relevant, and it. tells of no hope of reconciliation, understanding, and catharsis Instead, it implies that there is a need for forgiveness, that Yunior should forgive Beto for his homosexuality so that they can have a relationship again. is one of the main tragedies of the situation: homosexuality must be forgiven when it absolutely should not..