My literature focuses on Demi Moore's painful and uncontrollable behavior that led to her divorce from Ashton Kutcher. The emotional breakdown she subsequently experienced came from a life spent battling her demons, the demoralization of her shame and lack of self-esteem led her to many shame-seeking behaviors. unmet needs such as; care, dignity and identity to name a few. Eventually, the confusion caused by shame led her to drug addiction that numbed her pain. After Demi's breakdown, she revealed to Amanda de Cadenet a friend from Harper's Bazaar; “What scares me is that I will end up discovering at the end of my life that I am really not lovable, that I am not worthy of being loved. That there is something fundamentally wrong with me...and that I wasn't wanted here in the first place. (as cited in Furek, 2012) There are many adult children of alcoholics and other dysfunctional family systems like Demi Moore's family, mine included. In an adult child's youth, they internalize messages such as: I am worthless, unlovable, unwanted, violated and abused, which can cause such toxic shame that it destroys the true authentic self. . (Bradshaw 2005) says that toxic shame is at the heart of many emotional illnesses: “Shame is the effect that underlies many complex and disturbing inner states: depression, alienation, self-doubt, isolation, loneliness, paranoid and schizoid phenomena, compulsive disorders, self-splitting, perfectionism. , a deep feeling of inferiority, inadequacy or failure, the so-called borderline conditions and disorders of narcissism. (xviii) Validation and acceptance are necessary for an adult child to feel valued and lovable. Adult children are not allowed to ...... middle of paper ...... themselves and make amends with them. I have a clearer understanding of my shame and defense mechanisms and where it comes from. Through my program and cognitive behavioral therapy, I am still learning about boundaries and things that are not acceptable and trigger my shame. I better understand the importance of validating another person's feelings. I learned that I should not allow someone else to ignore or minimize my feelings, which would lead me back to my shame-based behaviors. Demi Moore's emotional depths are painfully obvious, she is in extreme pain and doesn't know what to do. with these feelings in a healthy way. She became confused, lost, and ashamed of who she is while trying to fit in. If Demi Moore sticks to recovery and makes the decision to dedicate her life to healing, she will slowly begin to fill the hole in her soul..