Table of ContentsSummaryIntroductionBackgroundPurposeProblem StatementImportance of the ProblemLiterature ReviewCommunication; maternity and parenthood; religion and spirituality;Religion and spiritualityHistorical dataQ&ADescribe several purposes that a literature review can serve when planning a research project. What do we know about this research on marriage? What don't we know about my marital happiness? Why is it important that we be exposed to what we don't know about God's presence in marriage?MethodologyMethodology Section:Selected MethodologyData AnalysisDesignSelection MethodInterview ProcessParticipantsJoel & Keyla CowanEmily & GeorgeMercy &TrapWilfred & JoanMo & MessyJob and ChristyDesign of researchSummary/Conclusion/RecommendationsSummaryWorkCommunicationReligion and spiritualityMarriage crisis and divorce rateResearch limitationFuture studyConclusionReference pageSummaryThis research is only based on the essentials of marriage. What most couples describe as a wonderful marriage from a faith perspective. Although little research has been conducted in this area due to marital information privacy, our participants were freely given the opportunity to opt out whenever they felt threatened or uncomfortable disclosing their personal information and complex. We strictly required our participants to have a few years of marital experience, with divorce culprits also included in the research. Participants were also asked to complete a questionnaire describing their notion of a “wonderful marriage”. We attempted to interview 12 couples as part of this study. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on “Why Violent Video Games Should Not Be Banned”? Get the original essay The second phase of the interview was scheduled based on the responses to the questionnaire. Couples who answered their questionnaires correctly were invited for the second phase of the interview. We carried out a self-assessment with open questions allowing interviewers to express themselves fully. We used all concluded findings to reschedule further interviews and research.IntroductionMarriage and divorce have immense importance not only to me, but also to families vacillating between notions of a healthy marriage and the curious disease of divorce. In America, marriage, as most of us perceive it, is just another bizarre twist in the absence of love. Yet what is the love we so desperately and ardently seek? Is it a feeling: “…are we truly in love, or is it the longing of our flesh? » I marvel while meditating on my love, it ignites me, leaves me perplexed, warms my insides by leaping while closing me and makes my heart implacable. The same love brings joy and sadness, health and illness, laughter and agony, consciousness and forgetfulness; therefore, what is love and what is its place in marriage and the teachings of God? Divorce has destroyed most of us, tearing families apart, while sending our loved ones into the eternal darkness of darkness. Divorce struggles are real, very significant, proven by statistical analysis of the annual divorce rate in America, leaving most families in utter sadness and conundrum. it is a misunderstanding and a lack of mutual affection towards the spouses. In this research I want to describe how poor communication leads to most separations, its merits and drawbacks as well as the impact of God's teachings on marriage inits whole. children involved. Needless to say, children don't have the coping mechanism that adults have. Therefore, a simple divorce puts the lives of most children in danger. This can then lead to severe shaking and anger in children's lives, even into the later stages of their adult lives, if they are not properly cared for and managed. The scenes are deeply recorded and rooted in their hearts, and as the Bible teaches: “Above all, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23). Purpose The Bible clearly emphasizes the fundamental principles of marriage. “Be completely humble and gentle, patient, bearing with one another in love” (Ephesians 4:2-3); How do these teachings affect our broken marriages? The purpose of this study is to analyze God's teachings on marriage and how they fit into the communication problems in most marriages. My research objectives will be empirical and will attempt to answer these questions: What are the ravages of poor communication in marriages? What is the effect of poor communication of marriage with children? Does divorce have a psychological effect on all family members? What is God's purpose in marriage?Problem StatementAs arbitrary as it may seem, "married people aged 50 and over skyrocketed from the 1990s, as of 2015, for every 1,000 married people aged 50 years and over,… 10 divorced, increasing from five to 1990 according to the National Center for Health Statistics. … Unfortunately, the divorce rate for people under 50 is about twice as high as for adults 50 and over” Stepler (2017). These staggering statistics have indeed sparked serious outrage among various divorced family members, leaving them speechless with unfathomable indignation. This contagious and continuous agony is wrongly considered by many couples as a mere ghost, although intimidating and vexing, but it is accepted with the gentleness of a mutual gaze. , although suicidal with large chains of inebriation, is nevertheless recognized with tranquility. This is the word of marriage as we speak, the cobweb that surrounds most of us. Just as war harms the innocent rather than its perpetrators, so too does divorce harm children. Children do not have the coping mechanism that adults have and are the ones most often hurt during a divorce. This can later lead to severe tremors and anger in later adults. Divorce scenes are deeply rooted there and, as the Bible notes: “Above all, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23). Most people consider communication problems to be the main cause of divorce. In the United States, while for others, it is incomprehension and lack of mutual affection towards the spouses. In this research I want to describe how poor communication leads to most separations, its pros and cons as well as the impact of God's teachings on marriage as a whole. The Bible clearly emphasizes the fundamental principles of marriage. “Be completely humble and gentle, patient, bearing with one another in love” (Ephesians 4:2-3); How do these teachings affect our broken marriages? In summary, this study analyzes God's teachings on marriage and how they fit into the communication problems in most marriages. My research objectives will be empirical and will attempt to answer these questions: What are the ravages of poorcommunication in marriages? What is the effect of poor communication of marriage with children? Does divorce have a psychological effect on all family members? What is God's Purpose in Marriage “Marriage has lost its sanctity from what it used to be. The values ​​of marriage and piety continue to deteriorate, “traditional values ​​of love, fidelity, commitment and obligation are no longer respected” Sanchez (1999); a notion contrary to the biblical teaching of the godliness of marriage. This research should help us reach consensus and fully understand the hidden meaning of marriage in biblical teachings. Think about how to complete the project. Did you forget something? Yes, I did, and this is the most essential part of this research which involves: the scope of the research, the hypotheses and the objectives of the research. I intend to use the acronym SMART for my scope and goals; which must be specific to my research topic, with objectives and measurable results within the given time frame. I have also neglected the risks of research, for example being out of scope, misuse of resources and procrastination in research. How to improve each project: My research strategy simply focuses on my strengths while minimizing my weaknesses and exploring my opportunities. Specifically, my main areas of interest include: Exploring the latest data collection strategies. Modify my deliverable consistently throughout the lifespan of my project. Stay within my scope (always measure my progress). Use both primary and secondary methods of data collection. A strategy that always improves with the amount of work involved, and my goal is to use my research tasks efficiently. Importance of the problem Divorce breaks millions of people every day. Millions of children continue to be raised in single-parent households, harming their performance across a broader spectrum. Additionally, following divorce, parents and children continue to experience difficulties in their overall communication, lacking problem-solving skills. Finally, with Christian education eradicated from most schools, most of us continue to struggle to understand the true meaning of God's teachings on the essential meaning of marriage. This has caused serious problems mainly for interfaith and interfaith couples. Children only know what they learned from their parents. Literature Review Literature review is very essential in order to give us the depth and breadth of the study already undertaken in this area of ​​research. The review gives us the opportunity to analyze our research data and make vivid suggestions on what holistically constitutes a good marriage demonstrated by the presence of the Almighty God. With variables such as communication, testimonies, symposium records, and both religious and spiritual deliverables, these become the main focus of our study and analysis of this research. The research and various interviews that support this work are covered in this section.Communication; maternity and parenthood; religion and spirituality; Scholars believe that communication is the foundation that holds the family together. Bellah et al., 1985; Fowers, 1993), specifically states that "communication is the primary means of ensuring happiness" and that is why a happy marriage relies on happy communication. As the couple communicates, they tend to focus more on their intimacy, theirpersonality and their emotions. Many notions have emerged about how men and women communicate. Indeed, men and women communicate differently and, not understanding these basics, have broken the hearts of many couples and families. Communication is what affects the heart of every marriage. This is how the two spouses show each other love and affection. It is also in communication that we evoke the demon in us, when it is not properly tamed. “… Communication methods and marriage satisfaction are in symbiosis. “Husbands' and wives' perceptions of their marital communication are very critical to the progress or deterioration of the marital relationship” (Satir, 1964). Moffit also found in his research that "more emotionally healthy wives tend to be more communicative and non-complaining." More emotionally healthy husbands tended to minimize problems and communicate reasonably well with their wives” Moffit et al. (1986). Wives may have higher expectations for openness and sharing in the relationship, as well as different attitudes toward intimacy and self-disclosure. “…for women, the emotional quality of marriage is crucial to their role in the family. For men, married status may be more important than the emotional quality of the relationship” Style (1983). Based on these stories, we incorporated the following communication question into the interview question: (1. what is the nature of the communication between the spouses? 2. How do both couples perceive their communication? 3 .what are some of the common differences with their communication patterns), these are some of the questions this research will answer. During the interview, one couple expressed the most difficult situation they faced regarding communication. It was fascinating to discover that the main source of this misunderstanding was actually work-related. After interviewing different coupes, what struck me most was what Jennifer and Manish described about their main cause of chaos and misunderstanding. According to Manish, “work stress was the main cause of misunderstanding.” Even though they profess the same faith, work stress was a serious thorn in their marriage. As a developer, every day is a stressful day for Manish. From missed deployments to screaming product owners, having just one quiet day is a blessing and something Manish had barely imagined. Then, as a father, Manish had to transform himself and be the most loving father to their four-year-old son (Joshua), who is still unable to understand work stress. Besides all this, Manish should also be the most loving husband in the house. Sometimes the slightest unnecessary problem discourages him. Manish believed that he could be the best husband and father if he could just stay away from work for at least a month. Manish's notion was no different from what his wife Jennifer professed. For Jennifer, a full-time nurse in the intensive care unit, working with whiny and “end-of-life patients” leaves her speechless after every shift. She always comes home late and sometimes never even takes a lunch break. For her, “12 hours of work” is more than enough, and being expected to be a gentle mother and loving wife was way out of her league. In short, in most cases, she was incapable of managing her professional and family life. This has caused more than enough stress in their marriage and something they seriously struggle with. One thingWhat both couples (Manish and Jennifer) agree on is the notion of sharing their burdens and being able to pray over each other. This has been their anchor and source of courage in most cases. They are both able to put their problems aside, take a walk, or simply devote some of their energy to prayer, and that is the only reason they believe they saved their marriage. The problems they faced affect millions of other marriages. Voydanoff (1988) found that “an increase in the number of hours spent on the job is related to higher levels of work-family conflict.” (191). White and Keith (1990) found that shift work is hardest on the marital and family system. They state that “teamwork 18 has a negative effect on marital quality across various dimensions.” (191).Religion and SpiritualityIt is very evident that Manish and Jennifer valued their spiritual connections. This was their anchor mainly in times of need and we can obviously see the same thing happening in various narratives. Anthony noted that "religious orientation refers to how one relates religion to one's life and how one is motivated by one's religion." A notion supported by Giblin who asserted that “…the spiritual dimension of the human as a unifying force that integrates all other dimensions, plays a vital role in well-being and identifies what is meaningful and useful” (Giblin, 1996). Additionally, I was shocked by Johnson's findings that religion neither increases nor decreases the divorce rate. “Although religiosity may decrease the likelihood of divorce; it does not increase marital satisfaction or decrease marital conflict" (Booth & Johnson, 1985), on the contrary, other researchers believed that religion has everything to do with whether couples stay married and committed to their family. “Religion can and does affect marital commitment and social support systems for the family.” Additionally, church members encourage and look out for each other, providing the support system most families need. Pamela noted in the interview, “I was able to stay committed to my husband Bruce because of the support system of the church (WEAG CHURCH). In 2014, my husband Bruce was drafted into Iraq and it was impossible to stay here alone with our three children, with memories and fear of the unknown. The fear of something unexpected happening was unbearable, but WEAG gave me hope. They supported me, comforted me and prayed with me. They became my immediate family and that is why my marriage was saved…” Therefore, attending church services, participating in church social activities and praying together can enhance the couple's interaction in a supportive environment . Historical Data History helps support the importance of marriage and the Christian faith. in families. Although some families have managed to prosper in their marriage without incorporating God into their midst, many people still believe in the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit and God's design for marriage. Whether economic, social, psychological or sociological, romance and marriage go back a long way. They have existed since eternity and have added to the notions that we extremely cherish. The story helps us discover the true, distorted meaning of marriage, which goes far beyond the notion of personal fulfillment. Q&A Describe several purposes that a literature review can serve when planning a research project. The academic journal gives us ideas and a deeper understanding of our current work or project. I wealso gives the depth of previous work carried out in the same field of study. Academic review helps us understand the research's strengths (deliverables), weaknesses, opportunities for further study, and future expectations. What do we know about this research on marriage? Everyone tries to marry for love. Some people thrive on knowing they are in love with someone else. Others marry for stability. “ “I want to have children. A marriage provides – in theory – the most stable environment for raising children.” Other obvious reasons include financial goals, finding a stable partner, sexual fulfillment, family pressure, and religious reasons. What don't we know about my marital happiness? There is no single point or single method for a happy marriage. People around the world have relied on many notions about what constitutes a happy marriage, but most of the ubiquitous notions have failed in most cases. Financially stable people (although people consider income the main source of a happy marriage) have divorced and chosen to separate. Most people naively ignored the work and sought advice on their communication methods. However, communication is one of the central pivots of a lasting marriage. “Long-term studies have shown that one of the best indicators of success after five years of marriage is the quality of communication between a couple before they get married.” Furthermore, what most couples lack in a successful marriage is not their hedonistic lifestyle, but "what matters in making a happy marriage," said George Levinger of the University of Massachusetts, “it’s not so much your compatibility. are, but how to deal with incompatibility.” Most of us get married without knowing the true purpose of marriage, its meaning and what it really represents. Most people also don't know about the four types of marriages (romantic, rescue, companionship, and traditional). Why is it important that we be exposed to what we don't know about God's presence in marriage? It is essential to know the true presence of God in marriage. the meaning of marriage and the ups and downs it brings. This knowledge is profoundly essential to keeping married couples together, thereby minimizing divorce. With proper understanding comes appropriate expectations and coping mechanisms during times of torrents. Most marriage goals are covered in the sections below. Methodology This research is based on both social (natural science) and targeted study of various phenomena in a holistic manner, in the sense that the research questionnaire is objectively designed for answers (yes, no) and the results being submitted to careful examination. Additionally, questionnaires are objective in that they measure people's behaviors in their natural state (within various demographic groups...such as daily behaviors and activities). I incorporate observation to carefully observe people to generate sufficient data for research interpretation and research.analysis.Methodology Section: The research aims to analyze how poor communication leads many marriages to divorce and the God's design for marriage. The underlying assumption is that most Christian marriages are not “pro-divorce” compared to civil marriages. This is due to the “good teachings of the Bible”; God plays a larger role in keeping couples together, as opposed to civil marriage where people rely on their own strength to make their marriages successful. Wewant to discover how essential good communication and God's teachings are in broken marriages. Qualitative research design is essential not only for understanding human behaviors, but also for deeply analyzing their structural lives. As Van argues, “Qualitative data emphasizes people's life experiences, which predominantly focus on the events, processes, and structures of their lives (van Maanen, 1977). With a qualitative result, it is easier to convert stories into measurable data, which is our key asset in measuring the deliverables of this research. Only by using both data (qualitative and quantitative) will we be able to better understand marital dilemmas and the chaos of divorce. The greatest merit of the mixed method is the scope of “triangulation (integrating researchers, methods and sources) for research phenomena”. “Words, especially organized into incidents or stories, have a concrete, lively and meaningful flavor that often proves much more convincing to the reader… (Miles and Huberman, 1994). Using qualitative data, we are able to get to the bottom of marriage, analyzing its pros and cons. Additionally, qualitative research holistically exposes us to the natural process of things. For example, why do we behave the way we naturally do? “…being able to illuminate how people in particular contexts come to understand, account for, act on, and otherwise manage their daily tasks (Miles & Huberman, 1994). The chosen methodology - Ethnographic research allows us to consider and represent actors as creators and executors of their own meanings. The very way in which they tell us about what they do tells the researcher a lot about what is meaningful for and in the research. This adds richness and texture to the search experience. (Stuart Hannabuss, “Being There: Ethnographic Research and Autobiography,” Library Management, Vol. 21 No. 2) The integration of qualitative ethnographic research has eased our focus on naturally understanding people in diverse marital contexts; helping us focus on a designated demographic study of marriage. The ethnographic method also allows interviewers to participate in our research at ease in their own local environment, with the option to withdraw from the interview if, for any reason, they feel violated following the intensity of the data matrimonial confidentiality. The face-to-face interview works wonders in this context, allowing everyone to participate in the ongoing interview process. This improves collaboration and understanding between both parties involved. Finally, the information collected is easier to analyze if you were part of the ongoing interview process. This is because; The interviewee's perspective was incorporated into the interview process and data collection. The entire process can also be referenced with the collected videos, interview recordings and recorded minutes, enriching the quality of the extracted data. Data analysis There was no better method to integrate into this analysis than the one analyzed by Miles in his study: "- use fixed codes define specific fields of observations Use marks to reflect various marginal transactions Group similarities (sentences , models)And organize precise data with a reduction method »Symbols used, for example W for women and M for men in the interview settings. We studyalso sign languages, body movements, gestures and sighs on the sidelines on intense codes. Intensive codes help us organize sorted data precisely, making it easier to eliminate ambiguities. With this in hand, all that remains is to support our results to materialize the research. In this narrative, it is essential to carefully analyze and review the data to verify the validity and integrity of the study. Design I got my design idea from Wallerstein and Blakeslee's 1996 study of "The Good Marriage." With this idea, I incorporated open-ended interview questions with a semi-structured design. This was incorporated into a questionnaire design with non-restrictive questions (preferred rate of Christian marriages compared to civil marriage); preferred 6 questions (Max.8); short and precise questions; mixed questions (open, leading and closed) and multiple choice questions. A questionnaire was sent to each participant in the research team. Selection methodThe initial aim was to select 50 couples at random, but this was not feasible based on the research schedule. So I answered the online questionnaire; complete online essays, social media posts (Facebook, Snapchat, WhatsApp groups and phone contacts). The invitations sent with greeting cards and the people who responded are the ones who were selected for the interview. Here, we narrowed down the selected couples based on their marital experience, number of family members, years of marriage, and religious beliefs. Each couple had to have been married for at least 5 years, have a family, and still be married or divorced after that time. Couples who met the criteria and were also religious were given first choice. All previous interviews were scheduled by telephone. Interview Process The ground rule was set before any interview. Therefore, the interviews were designed to last only 30 to 45 minutes. Part 1: Answer all research questions. Part 2: Give people the opportunity to opt out if they decide to no longer pursue this for any reason. Part 3: Ask for consent for video and voice recordings as this concerns people's sensitive information about their marriage and sex life. “…The focus was on people's lives, their experiences, and their conception of how their data related to the world around them” (Van Manen, 1977). Part 4: Begin the interview and record the interview minutes. “Qualitative data ensured that the researcher could be both an active participant and a passive observer (Miles & Huberman, 1994).ParticipantsFor the same concern for confidentiality, I changed the names as requested by the interviewees. Some of the information below is too sensitive to the real difficulties the couple faces on a daily basis. Joel and Keyla CowanJoel and Keyla were married for 20 years before their divorce. They were also best friends in high school before confessing their vows to each other after graduating from college. For Joel, his childhood life was a complete ruin. He was raised by a single mother due to domestic violence. He never knew the love of his fathers, something he still lacks. His father being an alcoholic caused him a lot of problems at home. Every day was hell after his father was drunk. “I don’t remember the good days, but I sure remember the bad days. Honestly, every day was a bad day. My father used all the resources in the house just to have a drink.He spent most of his weekends drunk, even if he was at home he was never sober. After their divorce, I grew up with a loving mother who instilled in me the essence of true love. She had little, but she was very generous and forgiving. » Keyla, for her part, was raised by both parents. She was the beauty of the house and everything she wanted was given to her. She was the source of joy for their parents. She was very close to both her parents and spent most of her time playing soccer with her father. After falling in love early in high school, they knew everything about each other. They spent their weekends together studying and fishing, which they really enjoyed. The couple, after 5 years of marriage, began to notice changes in their marriage. They both realized that they spent most of their time at work, more than with each other. They stopped playing soccer and fishing together and when the kids came along they weren't what they used to be. Their differences continued to widen over the years of marriage. Although they spent most of their weekends singing in the choir, that too has changed. Joel had to play football outside with their son Tony, as the weekend was the only free time for recreational activities. An intriguing fact is that they never stopped loving each other. Keyla spent most of her time at home, raising her children and cooking. She loved keeping the house tidy. She loved weaving and grilling and the rest of her free time was spent playing the piano and singing. After their 20th anniversary, Joel said he wanted to leave. Workaholic and stressed by family demands, he realized he just needed some free, alone time. There were no arguments or fights over the divorce, it was a mutual consensus that both parties agreed on. They still hope to remarry.Emily and GeorgeEmily and George met at work in the IT field. They were both programmers and enjoyed working together. Their first project was with IBM, automating CommVault software. They just celebrated their 18th birthday. Couples are richly blessed by the gift of worship. They are leaders in the Church and highly respected for their wealth of wisdom. Their main struggle was to be in harmony with their in-laws. Emily is very calm and easy-going, but she is a planning guru when it comes to working with money. He is the financial manager of their home and approves every financial decision affecting the family. George on the other hand is the OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) of the house. His phone must be as he left it on the table. His shoes need to be brushed and his clothes ironed. They both agreed that money was never an issue because they were both programmers and had a stable income. Gorge's parents expected him to be responsible for their household finances, but that wasn't the case. Therefore, all of his parents' financial demands were handled by his wife Emily and they did not like it. Emily's people, who spent most of their lives on the farm, also wanted their grandchildren to work with them on the farm. They wanted to train them and teach them the benefits of working in a company, something both parents disagreed with. This is why couples have been constantly bombarded with their in-laws. Being God-loving couples, everything was resolved in prayer. The couple spent more time on their knees praying than anything else. They believe in dedicating everything to God. Emily said, “Why do I stress about the things I can't change.It's easier for me to be on my knees praying and trusting that God will provide for me, more than I can imagine. Everything I prayed for I received and every day I am beyond blessed. Even though it gets stressful, I rely solely on God for everything.” Mercy & TrapMercy and Trap have been married for 10 years and during that time; they fought physically 3 times. They have 4 children (Sam, Holly, Joan and Peter). Mercy is a stay-at-home mom and Trap is the DevOps guru. Money was never their problem. For them, their main problem is poor communication and sports. Sam is a sports fanatic and when his team (Liverpool is playing) nothing else is done at home. Everything during this period of football is a "yes" as long as you leave him alone to his game. Although money has never been an issue, Sam has not been judicious in his spending. He is the risk taker, the stock buyer and the gambler. And since he's the breadwinner, talking about his expenses is a thorn in their marriage. Mercy said: “Sometimes I just want to choke him. Without God, I would just crush it. His impulsive spending is killing me. We make a budget and before the end of the month, it's as if we haven't done anything. I felt very disrespected and without a say. I felt so inferior and it's killing me. I spent most of my time praying for myself and for us, but some days are harder than others. » For Trap, he was living the life of his dream. He knows their problems, but he at least makes them up the way he thinks they are. “I spent most of my time working and programming. I spent 12 hours a day programming and after that I have to have a life. I have to get what my heart desires because I work so hard for it. My family has enough money, a good house in a good neighborhood and everything they want. We can see the disconnect and miscommunication, but they know how to make up for it and keep their marriage safe and intact. For Trap, he earns a good living for his family, while for Emily, it is the love of Christ that unites them. Wilfred and JoanWilfred and Joan met at a movie theater in Tennessee, in Johnson City. Joan has just gone through a breakup, losing her boyfriend to her best friend. She was trembling, sad and lost. When Wilfred approached her and joked about taking her on a date, she said yes without thinking about it. Roy admitted he was joking, but that simple joke, after 2 years, gave him a beautiful wife. They have been married for 4 years and are blessed with 3 children. Their main problems were their sick children. They are battling sickle cell anemia which makes their lives truly unbearable. They went through all the sources of prayer, devotion and meditation. They also followed various tips on how to keep their family together. Joan was the strongest and most faithful. She gave everything to God and spent all her time reading the Bible and praying for the children. Some days are better than others, but expressing their true feelings has been very difficult. Mo and MessyMo admitted that he was married for sex. He initially didn't value marriage and didn't expect to stay married for more than two years. For him, marrying Messy was a family ritual. He wanted to please his parents who constantly pestered him to get married, but that was not his real desire. For Messy, he knew very well at the time of their marriage that Mo didn't love him, and that was cool, because she loved him. So it was a one-sided love. Messy, "I knew he would eventually love me manly after having children. We grew up together, went to the same high school and the same university. He was myfirst crush and I loved him so much. Marrying him was everything to me. It was a dream come true. And since I knew the pressure he was under to get married, it was my tool and my opportunity and I would do the same thing if I had the same opportunity.” Messy believes that people get married for various reasons and for her, it was love and you can't beat that. Messy's strength in being married has been effective communication. She knows when to speak and when to keep quiet. She knows when Mo is upset and needs some quiet time and more than anything else, she knows what to say to get MO back on his feet. We can say that she was the strength of the family.Job and ChristyAfter only 3 years of marriage, Job and Christy filed for divorce. For Job, this was something he saw coming long before it became a reality. Job: “I met my wife Christy at a church meeting, she was beautiful and had an incredibly sweet face. It was love at first sight. We got married six months later after meeting and since we met at a church event, it was phenomenal. I realize after our second anniversary that Christy stopped taking care of herself. She stopped working out, walking or participating in the exercises we were doing. She started gaining weight and every time I tried, I came back; she threw a punch and wasn't happy. She said I called her “fat” and would go on and on. To me, she's totally someone I don't know. Over time, even my sex life has changed. I was no longer attracted to her. I would rather be doing something else and spending time with her, we just drifted apart. When I knew it was over was when I was invited to an event with my friends and I couldn't take him with me. That's when I was shocked at how much I had changed. Since we couldn't talk about his weight gain without fighting, I just said enough is enough. "Christy was shocked by the divorce, she still has difficulty talking about it, or accepting it. For her, yes, she gained weight and she was no longer what she once was, but she had also serious health issues which pushed her to this limit On their second anniversary, she suffered a miscarriage and almost lost her life. With all the emotions and depression resulting from this incident, he did not. It wasn't easy for her to get back to normal herself. She needed time to heal and get back to normal, which again, it was a misunderstanding and a mistake. misunderstanding. “She still doesn't understand that they are divorced and it's her fault.” Research Design We incorporated a cross-sectional design in this section, even though a longitudinal design would have been the better choice. Cross-sectional analysis is well suited due to the research time and cost. We had limited chances because the interviewers were willing to meet once for the interview.Summary/Conclusion/RecommendationsSummaryThis research attempted to answer why good communication is essential in all marriages and God's purpose for them. married couples. The interview showed the vivid reality, struggles and chaos that couples face during their marriage. It also showed the purpose of the Christian faith in marriage and what constitutes it. We carefully analyzed and compared the interviews with the research data and, frankly, the results were intriguing. All research variables were selected based on the interviews with the couples and the role they gave to this research. WorkThe work was themain problem that most couples struggle with. Work stress has prevented many couples from having lively communication. Some work schedules were not family-friendly, making it very difficult for couples to transition well into becoming the parents and couples they were meant to be. Furthermore, when men were the sole earners, women felt very disrespected and naive, mainly when their voice was taken for granted. CommunicationCommunication was one of the most discussed attributes. Many couples thought that with good communication they would still be married or be in much better shape. Although the communication style was different, it was essential to understand your partner. Understanding their language, body signs, gestures and sighs was essential for a successful marriage. Each couple had their own mishaps, but with good communication, they also found better solutions. Religion and spirituality This was the most contradictory and sensitive topic. Overall, most couples believed only in God to stay married. Research also showed that being part of a community of believers helped couples cope with the chaos and misunderstandings of marriage. The support system offered by most churches helps keep many couples from divorce. Additionally, understanding why God created marriage and its basic requirements helps most couples lower their marital expectations, which has reduced the divorce rate. Marriage Crisis and Divorce Rate Many couples experienced ups and downs, this was normal in every marriage, the difference was in the actions they took. A successful marriage was not defined by staying married or living hedonistically, but by the fundamental meaning of marriage. Success hinged on how the couple worked together to resolve their conflicts and misunderstandings. A fit of contempt was a good test not only of faith, but also of character and endurance. As James noted: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance complete its work, that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing” (James 1:2-4). Research Limitation The biggest limitation was time. There was not enough time to fully study couples and see their behaviors over a period of time. Given the number of active people, it was not easy to schedule the interviews due to time constraints. Additionally, this research touches on sensitive information and many couples did not want their information released to the public. It also prevented us from extracting more sensitive information, like the practical sex lives of various couples. Other times, it wasn't easy to decode what the couples were saying, making it more difficult to collect the necessary data. The use of archived data with various recorded theories of marriage has also altered the perceptual quality of the research. The data was therefore mixed (old archival data and interview data). Future Study Marriage is a complex topic that requires a lot of time for data collection. In the future, spending more time on this research will be very useful. Students will be able to collect more data, conduct more interviews, and continue their research. In addition, this research must include more structural interview parameters.