TITLEKatherine DourianD Period EnglishSalinger suggests that feelings of entrapment accompany the transition to adulthood, and that growing up means letting go of childish perceptions of self. Holden fantasizes about preserving the innocence of young people. like the catcher of the rye, where he can be both child and adult. "Cars were speeding by, brakes were screeching everywhere, his parents paid him no attention, and he kept walking along the sidewalk singing 'if a body catches a body running through the rye.' It made me feel better. It helped me not feel so depressed anymore. (Chapter 16). Time and again, Holden mentions how "depressed" he feels, but this moment highlights this internal conflict in an interesting way. Because the innocent, cheerful boy contrasts sharply with the cars and dismissive parents, we realize that there is indeed something that brings happiness to Holden. He sees himself in youth and it reminds him of simpler times. His realization of and appreciation for the young boy's naivety also gives the reader the sense that he is mature, but his vision of what he wants to be when he is older complicates the things. “Anyway, I keep imagining all these little kids playing a game in this big rye field and everything… what I have to do, I have to catch everyone if they start going over the cliff… I know it’s crazy. (Chapter 22). As the tallest of the bunch, Holden recognizes that he's not like the other kids: he's already fallen off the cliff. Likening adolescence to falling off a cliff, Holden in his fantasy shows that he fears adulthood because it brings uncertainty and pain. Holden, who we witness, is stuck in a transition between the joys of childhood and the expectations of adulthood... middle of paper ... everyone would have my back as soon as I landed. (Page 104). Throughout the text, Holden balances between life and death, contemplating suicide as a means of escaping the pain of the experience. After Holden experiences humiliation and physical pain at the hands of Maurice, he directly expresses a desire to commit suicide. This interaction between physical and emotional pain coincides with a void of spirituality that he expresses during an anecdote about the falsehood of the apostles of Jesus, where we learn that Holden considers himself an atheist and aligns himself with Judes, the traitor of Christ. The congruence of these three pains shows that Holden is seeking forgiveness for his guilt in having outlived his brother. Consequently, Holden is unable to find meaning in his life except through pain, which keeps him trapped, preventing him from moving beyond Allie's death to focus on building himself as a man..