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  • Essay / Sibling Rivalry, Its Causes and Effects

    Sibling Rivalry: An Essay on Cause and EffectIntroduction: Many people have an idea of ​​what the “perfect” family is. Perhaps this ideal includes parents who love their children unconditionally or children who appreciate and tolerate each other. In reality, the perfect family doesn't exist at all. Most families have at least problems that arise occasionally or perhaps they are just totally dysfunctional. A common problem that arises in households is sibling rivalry, which is the subject of this essay. Background: Sibling rivalry is often known as jealousy or competition between brothers and/or sisters. This problem has existed for years and years, as shown in the Bible between Cain and Abel. Cain and Abel were biblical characters who were brothers. They each had to bring a sacrifice to God. When Abel's sacrifice was greater and better than his brother's, Cain became furious and killed Abel out of jealousy. In extreme cases, sibling rivalry can even be fatal. Thesis Statement: A parent's carefree attitude is the root cause of sibling rivalry. Lack of attention, structure and acceptance due to parental neglect will cause conflict between siblings. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on “Why Violent Video Games Should Not Be Banned”? Get the original essay Topic Sentence: Parents play an extremely vital and important role in a child's life. From birth, a child needs his mother's affection and attention to develop properly. Because parents are so important, “mothers and fathers both exert a critical influence…on children’s emotional regulation skills” (Miller, “Sibling…”). Evidence and Citations: Lack of attention from a parent can be harmful to children, especially if one sibling is recognized and another is not. A parent who is neglectful of certain children and too focused on themselves or another child is the cause of budding rivalry between siblings. Comment: Lack of attention will cause a child to become jealous of siblings who receive attention, perhaps because of their good grades or athletic abilities. This can also happen if a child feels threatened by a new baby in the family who is getting all the attention. The child may feel abandoned or neglected and it is difficult to lose his position as the center of attention. Jealousy will breed animosity towards a sibling, leading to a competition between the attention seeker and the forgotten child. No child wants to be treated unfairly. A child may experience jealousy because of the “threat of losing a valuable relationship with a rival” (Miller, “Sibling…”). This careless lack of attention can also lead children to act out just to get noticed. Children can easily attract this negative attention by fighting with their siblings just to arouse their parents. Many things can cause a lack of attention, but "stress in parents' lives can decrease the time and attention parents can give to their children and increase sibling rivalry." Topic Sentence: A parent who does not care about creating structure at home will most likely result in their children fighting. This is common when children "don't have rules to guide their behavior, so they tend...to fight more." Evidence and Quotes: Children can often become anxious in a structureless home. So they don't know whatwhat to expect or how to behave with their family. Therefore, children will continually try to test the waters and experiment with boundaries through sibling fights. This will help the child know exactly what is expected of him. Stress and anxiety in a child's life can "shorten their fuses and decrease their ability to tolerate frustration, thus leading to more conflict." Comment: It is essential that parents care enough to create structure in the home because it “provides children with a sense of security and control in a world full of uncertainty – and helps create healthy habits that last into adulthood” (Buskirk, Wendy). Children need clear rules to follow; parents who do not care to create them cause conflict between their children. “Having established routines can also reinforce better behavior” so children can learn to get along with their siblings instead of competing with them. In many homes, parents neglect their offspring and there is absolutely no structure in the house. This will lead to many problems, but one of the main problems is sibling rivalry. Neglected and bored children will also be frustrated. Parents who do not spend regular family time, such as sitting down and having dinner, can increase the risk of children being involved in conflicts with each other. Having established routines can help children be “able to cope with the unknown” and become less likely to fight. This will help reduce anxiety and make children more cooperative and less resistant. Topic Sentence: Lack of acceptance from parents can be very difficult for siblings and children. One of the most basic human needs is to belong. This will affect them in many aspects of life, even as they age and become adults. Evidence and Citations: Lack of approval can cause deep-rooted problems in children and adolescents. Their mental images of themselves will be distorted if they do not receive the embrace they need, causing other psychological problems as well. Comment: Many children feel obliged to fit into the mold of their other siblings or their elders. They think they have to live up to what their siblings have done because parents will have the same expectations of them. These children may find themselves “competing to define who they are as an individual.” Children will act out by fighting with their siblings, just to show that they are separated from their siblings. They want to be accepted for their own talents and if they see their parents more involved in their siblings' interests, they will become jealous and act out. It has been shown that "the way parents treat their children and respond to conflict can make a big difference in how siblings get along." Topic Sentence: Some people think that sibling rivalry is not caused by parents' carefree attitude at all. It is believed that sibling rivalry can begin outside the home. Evidence and Citation: Sibling rivalry could be caused by peer or teacher approval. Having an older sibling who is very successful in sports, school, or just in social life can be intimidating for a younger sibling. Younger siblings feel the need to live up to their siblings' accomplishments. Comment: For example, a mathematics teacher can.