blog




  • Essay / The question of marriage in Iran

    Ah yes, marriage. What sweeter way to say you're ready to spend the rest of your life with someone than by spending thousands of dollars on an ostentatious white ball gown, a venue fit for royalty, and a sparkling diamond ring. Back then, everyone seemed to be dreaming and looking forward to their fairytale wedding. Unfortunately, in today's society, things have changed. Marriage with a majority of us in college can sometimes seem like the least of our problems. We live in such a fast-paced society that sometimes we barely have enough time to think about what we're going to eat for dinner, let alone think about who we're going to spend the rest of our lives with for years to come. come. I have seen first-hand this transition of prioritizing the need to dedicate one's life to a particular person over putting oneself before anyone else, all through the lens of my Iranian culture. American. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on “Why violent video games should not be banned”?Get the original essayAt the time in Iran, marriage was considered a sign of accomplishment, success and of utmost importance to most Iranian parents who had conceived a girl. My own mother was pressured to marry for the first time when she was only 20 years old and therefore was unable to fully pursue her education. So, since I was a child, my mother always told me to focus on my education and not let society's expectations of personal relationships distract me from my studies. Everything changed when I was accepted into college. Like most Iranian parents who come to America, school always comes first and my parents were no different. It wasn't until second grade that I noticed my mother starting to express more interest in finding me a potential husband. Every time I came home to attend a mehmooni, she made sure my hair and makeup were impeccable and that I was decked out in the trendiest, most presentable clothes money could buy. After confronting her about the many times she pushed me to go dancing with one of her friend's sons, she finally confessed, "I think it's time for you to open your eyes and look potential people you could see yourself marrying in the future. future." (Khosravi, 2018). I was shocked. My mother had always been the type of mother to scare me and not want to talk to boys because they could essentially "ruin my life." So, What Has Changed? Although the majority of my mother's traditional mindset had changed dramatically during her time in the United States, I found that the majority of her views regarding the right time for a young person had changed. woman to marry had always remained. His belief was that a young girl should eventually have children and be "happily" married by the age of twenty-eight. That word "happily" always unsettled me. me, happiness depends on your own point of view. Your personal happiness may be entirely different from someone else's. So how is my mother so sure that I should marry between twenty-one and twenty-seven. years old and eventually having children would make me happy? I wanted to better understand the mentality she grew up with that set these standards and expectations for marriage in a young woman's life from a firsthand perspective and how he has strayed from his traditional path over the years. In the United States, marriage is a whole different ball game. The Americans havetend to marry not to fit into society's stigmas and their family's beliefs, but because they individually want to share a stronger bond with someone for whom they have compassion. Even with this freedom in love and relationships, there seems to be an increase in the number of single Americans like never before, especially among younger women. According to the 2016 U.S. Census, more women than men were single at age eighteen and older (U.S. Census, 2017). As the years go by, more and more women are becoming less inclined to marry as young adults and even in general. This trend of uprising is happening not only in America, but also currently in Iran. Dr. Raz Zimmt, who holds a postdoctoral degree in Middle Eastern history from a renowned university in Iran, says many young Iranians are more likely than ever to divorce and marry at older ages (Zimmt, 2016). Much of this is because Iranians are taking a more non-traditional view of marriage as a whole. What many people don't know about Iran is that it is an exclusively Islamic republic, which means that the majority of what is broadcast on television and the Internet is closely monitored and censored by the government. Censorship in Iran does not stop there. Women are strongly prohibited from going out in public with a man who is neither married nor related to them. Likewise, all women are expected to cover their hair as well as their arms and legs with cloth, ensuring that a large majority of their skin is not exposed. At this point, you might be wondering how on earth a girl living in a society like that can even physically manage to date a man she likes with all these restrictions in place. Luckily, I had the opportunity to see this strict dating regime firsthand. I visited one of Iran's largest capitals, Tehran, in the middle of the dry summer heat, not only to reunite with my loved ones, but also to immerse myself in the culture. Throughout my stay, I was able to observe in depth all the ups and downs that many of my young female relatives went through growing up in such an Iranian society. One of them was my twenty-five-year-old cousin Sara, who knew more about Iran's modern marriage culture than any other member of my family. Sara's thick hair, warm smile, and accounting degree made her an ideal bachelorette for many potential suitors on the market. So why wasn't she married yet? Sara claimed: “Unlike America, there are no dating apps here to help you find the man of your dreams. » (Ahmadi, 2016). She had no plans to get married anytime soon, despite her mother's constant "nagging." This traditional expectation that many Iranian families place on their youngest daughters makes a large portion of the female generation reluctant to marry as a whole. When Iranian families marry at a young age, many factors come into play. Money plays a major role and while it may seem quite unfair to judge whether or not one will spend the rest of their life with someone depending on the amount of income they receive, this is a stable way to reassure many parents in Iranian society about whether or not their daughters will live a "happy" and stress-free life at that. of their own income. In Iran, many parents participate in a traditional gathering known as "Khasteghari", which translates to "The Pretender" in”.