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  • Essay / Rites of passage during different stages of life

    Table of contentsIntroductionBodyConclusionIntroductionRites of passage are a ceremony or event marking an important stage in a person's life. It generally concerns birth, or even the ceremony of the transition from childhood to adulthood, marriage and death. The rite of passage is even a way of dividing a person's life into “before” and “after” and an entire system equipped with rites organizes life into stages (Grimes, 2000). In every society, individuals experience different types of rites of passage depending on their culture or religion. Additionally, in rites of passage, there are three different forms and attributes that mark the different transitions in an individual's life. The first stage is the pre-liminal stage, where it focuses on separation from the norm or before the liminal stage. The second stage is the liminal stage where it focuses on the transition due to rites of passage. The final stage is the post-liminal stage where an individual returns to the norms of society but has their own status. This is supported by Thomassen (2009) where he emphasized the importance of transitions in any society where he used Van Gennep's idea of ​​rites of passage as a "special category, consisting of three subcategories, namely separation rites, transition rites and transition rites”. rites of incorporation. »Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on “Why violent video games should not be banned”?Get the original essayBodyIn every Malay Muslim society in Brunei, most individuals go through a series of events when they get married. It's not as simple as it seems because you have to respect some customs and beliefs. The rites of passage of a Malaysian Muslim wedding usually consist of different events which are the merisik (surveying), bertunang (engagement), pre-wedding course, nikah (solemnization ceremony) and bersanding (marriage ceremony). ). Throughout these events, the individual experiences different stages of feeling in life, as the transition from being a child of one's parents to being a husband or wife of another person is definitely an overwhelming feeling. Therefore, this essay will focus on how an individual goes through the rites of passage of their marriage, specifically based on their own experience of attending a cousin's Malaysian Muslim wedding. This essay will also include the pre-liminal stage, the liminal stage and the post-liminal stage which will be developed in more detail in the essay. The woman had recently celebrated her wedding last September and followed some of the Malay wedding customs. Before proceeding with the bertunang (engagement), her family decided to wait for the man to come to the woman's house for an event called merisik. Merisik is part of a wedding custom where a representative from the man's side – called the wakil – visits the woman's house with the man's other group of family members. This is part of the formality and preparation before the wedding. The only purpose is to get an overview of the woman's status, whether she is still single and whether she is not someone else's fiancée. This is because it is not allowed to ask hand in hand if the woman is already engaged. Therefore, Merisik plays a vital role in knowing the true status of women. The purpose of merisik is only to obtain the consent of the woman's parents. Apart from this, it is about knowing more about the woman's background and also interacting with future family members. During a merisik event, the woman is only allowed to stay in her room for the duration of the event. The woman's parents andother older family members will then speak on his or her behalf. Some discussions took place during the merisik event, such as discussing the day on which the engagement date will take place, the amount of dowry to be given to the woman as well as the number of dulang hantaran or platter gifts to be given during the event. ceremony. At this stage, the woman is at the preliminal stage where the woman is in a separation between being alone and being "reserved" by the man's family. This therefore marks the beginning of the woman's rites of passage. Although the woman is still not officially declared the man's fiancé until the engagement ceremony begins, so there is a sense of loss of identity for the woman. After agreeing on a certain deal during the merisik, an engagement ceremony is held as a sign. that they are “unified” together. During the “majlis bertunang” or engagement ceremony, gift trays are exchanged between the man and the woman. The agreed dowry was also brought to the woman's house. Apart from this, a gold ring is also brought. In this ceremony, the event is usually attended by close and extended families only because in a Malay Muslim society, it is advised that the ceremony should not be attended by many people. The woman is told to stay in her room before she is finally proclaimed engaged, that is, a ring is placed on her finger by the representatives of the man's side. The representative is usually the man's mother or sister. The man is also advised not to come to the woman's home until a ring has been put on. A series of conversational exchanges usually consists of older people allowing the woman to engage with the man. This is where the woman is allowed to leave her room to go to the place where the event is taking place, for example the living room. The woman is escorted out of her room by her sister and paid her respects to the man's mother. The man's mother then officially put the ring on the woman's fingers, meaning the woman is officially engaged. During this stage, the woman fully experiences a transition from her identity from single to “reserved” and finally to engaged. The woman felt a different version of herself as she finally got closer to celebrating. Furthermore, at this stage also, the woman must balance the time she devotes to her family and that of the man. She must participate in all events or gatherings alongside the man and the man must also devote his time alongside the woman. They can no longer be selfish and must manage their time well for each other. Indeed, their status has changed by being engaged and obstacles must be faced with maturity between the fiancé and the fiancée. This shows that at the preliminal stage there is a change in social behavior as they become detached from their previous status. The night before the celebration is considered an emotional night. The mother came to her daughter's room for a conversation that mainly contained advice on how to be a good wife and handle life after marriage. It is also the moment when the mother kisses her daughter before she is finally in the hands of her husband. This marks the end of the preliminary stage as the girl soon changes roles to become a wife. Moving to the next stage, before the celebration begins, the woman is given a few passages that must be sworn in front of her. the parents and the imam in charge of his akad (solemnization agreement). The passage contains a consent from the woman which allows the imam to take charge of the celebration on behalf of the woman's father. At this point, the woman felt touched and sad because her father left, 2000).