I have always believed that there is a lot to learn about ourselves by interacting with others, facing difficult situations and analyzing our reaction to those situations . Last semester was a difficult time for me, and as a result, I came to introspect my behavior and draw some conclusions. I also understood which aspects of my personality need to be worked on and improved. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on “Why Violent Video Games Should Not Be Banned”? Get the original essayAlex, Megan, and Mary are three of my closest friends from college. Megan and I are also roommates. The first instance where things went south during the semester was when I got into a fight with Mary. This happened over the Chinese New Year holiday when Megan, Alex, Mary and I met at a park at night to spend time together. I was very tired and stressed that evening because of studying, but since social support is a buffer against stress, I decided to spend some time with my friends. During one conversation, Mary accused me of being lazy and whiny and told me I was very unreasonable. I got angry and denied his claims. When the argument escalated, I left. This incident bothered me for days and significantly deteriorated my relationship with Mary. In hindsight, the fight occurred because two different ego states were involved in parallel. Mary was the parent (the superego) since she judged and criticized me, while I was the child (the id) since I rebelled and walked away. We both thought we had done nothing wrong. There was another change in the group dynamic around the same time. I learned that Megan revealed to Alex that she loved him romantically. Alex also had feelings for Megan and they had discussed a potential relationship. I was the only one who remained in the dark about the whole situation for a month. Soon, Alex began spending all his time with Megan. Additionally, I learned that Alex and Mary met often and never invited me to join them. It made me feel like all my friends were abandoning me. In the middle of this scenario, Alex mentioned that my self-disclosure was pretty low and he always felt like I was hiding things about myself. After questioning whether I was a good friend or not, I interpreted that he was comparing me to Megan who is a more open and confident person. I blamed Megan for changing my equation with Alex. Essentially, there is a progression from an event to its interpretation to an associated emotion, which is anger in this case. In light of said events, I realized that I lacked empathy because I only considered my feelings without thinking about Megan. It must have been extremely difficult for her to deal with the changes in how she feels about Alex. I could see that she was confused about starting a relationship because she wasn't sure if it would last long term. But I put it down to indecision and thought she was torturing my best friend. I ignored her point of view, that she was trying to prevent long-term damage by not rushing into a relationship. Making false judgments and thinking only in terms of logic was a mistake on my part since I was not putting myself in Megan's shoes. I was constantly trying to find a solution to the problem when all Megan needed was for me to listen. Ben-Shahar (2011) states that proposing solutions often creates distance between two people, because the person who proves thesolution can seem judgmental and condescending. As Beebe (2011) suggests, we need to move from self-centered to other-oriented communication in order to have healthy, empathetic relationships. Meanwhile, the confrontation with Mary was causing me distress. The stress was due to a conflict caused by two incompatible methods of expression. The conflict here can be classified as an approach-avoidance conflict because there were two ways of handling the unresolved fight with Mary, each with its merits and drawbacks. First, I could talk to Mary and sort it out. The merit of this method is that I would know where I stand with it. The downside might be that we argue again and never speak again. Second, I could avoid the problem. In this case, our relationship would still be slightly strained but at least it wouldn't end completely. Another factor that stressed me out was the sudden change in our group dynamic. I received less attention from Alex, I didn't talk to Mary, and my roommate shared every interaction with Alex. While others had time to get used to the situation, I was thrust into this situation after a month of not knowing anything. I did not confront Mary again to resolve our unresolved conflict. I was desperately trying to avoid further changes. So, not dealing with conflict was my defense mechanism against the stress brought on by change. It can be observed here that I use the withdrawal strategy to manage conflicts by abandoning my personal goal of eliminating stress and allowing the relationship to suffer at the same time (Salami, 2010). But during this time, I thought I would preserve my relationship by no longer confronting Mary. Upon reflection, I've noticed a pattern that suggests I usually use an avoidance method to resolve conflict. My discomfort with confrontation and conflict might be linked to fear of abandonment. Somehow I feel that if I fight with people I'm close to, they will leave me for a nicer person. This feeling could come from my childhood, when I had no inhibitions about conflict and often expressed my opinions clearly. I was part of a trio where I felt like I was the least important member compared to the other two girls, who left me aside whenever I didn't agree with something. I felt like the same thing was happening in college as soon as I got into my first fight. Since our personality development occurs through interaction with others, it is not surprising that conflict avoidance has become a part of my personality. The third incident that triggered introspection was when Alex said I had low self-disclosure. I was quite embarrassed by his comment. This could reflect the collectivist nature of Indians, similar to that of the Chinese (Yang, 1995). Although I am not a very empathetic person, I am other-oriented because I care about people's opinions of me to avoid ridicule and rejection. This is clear from the action I took after realizing the comment was eating me up. I immediately messaged a few other close friends and asked them what they thought of his claims. Since they accepted Alex's statement by referencing past incidents, I decided to accept their comments. When I completed the Johari Window questionnaire during the course, the results matched the feedback. I had a hidden dominant characteristic. I can relate to John Powell, who said, "I'm afraid to tell you who I am, because if I tell you who I.